Britney Spears: not just on drugs, the drug of a nation. Cranking her way into the hospital one more time.

 

The question then becomes, how long before Hannah Montana gets knocked up and starts smoking rocks?

 

Here’s a secret you won’t find in a Lucky Charms box, kids: you’ll be able to do all the drugs and screwing you want to do once you turn 18 and if you just wait a few years, you’ll at least spare yourself from looking like trailer trash.

 

On the other hand, being a pregnant, 15-year-old crack smoker is apparently the new path to success in America.